There's a lot of salty language in this script. It may be overdone -- sometimes I wonder if any of it is even necessary. Once the script is complete, I'll try doing a PG version just to see if it's diminished at all. There's a character who would probably stick a couple of f-bombs in every sentence if she were a real person. Hm. Maybe there isn't enough cussing.
Also, there's a sex scene now. Well, post-sex. I'm pretty sure Watchmen has permanently put me off depicting the act, itself. Jiyoung sort of made a "whaa?" noise when she read the scene, so I wonder if it fits.
Jiyoung has turned out to be a very good editor. She's got a knack for detecting inconsistencies of logic and tone. I think she's been pretty honest, too -- she lets me know if something doesn't work, and I've made some deep cuts in response to her feedback. It must take a huge amount of patience and compassion to slog through an hour of dialogue, especially when it's written by an amateur like me.
Anyway, she says it's good so far! She couldn't be biased, could she?
I've come across two interesting resources. The first is a book called Dream Worlds, written by a Disney production designer named Hans Bacher. Some very useful insights on research, storyboarding, and shot composition. The storyboard thumbnails alone are worth investigating -- he limits himself to five values, very rough linework. I want to try for something similar for my first draft storyboards.
The other discovery is a transcript of the Indiana Jones story conference. Lucas, Spielberg, and Kasdan hashed out the entire story over a couple of days in a hotel room. They recorded the whole thing on tape. I still haven't found the time to dig too deeply into the pdf, but it's a rare treat to see those minds in action. You can tell they're having fun.