Help! I need somebody! Help! Not just anybody!
I could use some reviews of the Stareater script, if anyone out there has the time or interest. It weighs in at 96 pages and takes a solid hour to get through even if you're hustling. A few things: It's my first script, so I'm probably not observing all the rules of proper screenwriting -- i.e. the action prose is probably a little wordy, there are probably too many parenthetical digressions, I probably use the word "then" too much. I welcome comments on presentation, but since I don't intend to submit the script to anybody, I'm not too worried about stuff that doesn't relate to story or dialog. This is just a working document to help me build the storyboards. There are probably major plot/logic holes. THESE I need pointed out. I'd be especially grateful for help with dialog. Anything clunky/unnatural. There are some brutal chunks of exposition. I'm still working on trimming these down. Still, you may whine about them. If you're still inte