Page 4. Click to enlarge. More blabbing below the image.

Dialogue is a whole other thing, and I freely admit that I'm bad at it. I'll be revising the text right up to the end, I'm sure. I had just read Riddley Walker (a post-apocalyptic novel written entirely in a massively-simplified pidgin English), and for a few days I had one of my characters talking like a chimney sweep. You have to be careful what you read while you're working on something like this. It all sticks.
The font I'm using is called Anime Ace 2,0. It's free, which makes me think it must be low-quality. But as far as I can see, it works fine. Tell me if I've missed some glaring defect. I'd hate to come across as a font noob.
As always, your input is appreciated. Thanks!